Deal with it!

Friday's Five Favorites!

I had planned a different post for today, well yesterday but sometimes, ok often, life does not go as I plan.  It seems like the end of the world has come to my house the past few days.  We've had a number of wars and too many natural disasters, my carpets are the proof.  To say it's been frustrating would be an understatement!  Because of this I changed my mind on what this post would be about.  So here are my five favorite ways of dealing with the hard days.

1. Escape! After a long frustrating day I often look for a way to forget about it.  My first choice would probably be to escape to the gym or go for a run but because of the hubby's schedule that's often not an option.  Then I turn to a good book, a movie, or get caught up on my favorite blogs.  The main thing is I need to stop obsessing over how irritated I am with life.

2. Pictures!  I'm very much a visual person and just looking at pictures of when my kids are actually happy or even better sleeping, make me feel better about life.  Often after a rough day with the kiddos I look through my blog and try to focus on the good.  I also try to keep pics of them sleeping where I can see them, like on the fridge.

It's hard to stay mad too long when that face is looking at you from your fridge.


3. Compare!  I know this sounds wrong but really this often helps me.  I don't mean go comparing your weaknesses to other strengths, in fact when I'm feeling a little depressed I try to avoid pinterest.  Anyway, I try to look at a family that might be going through something hard.  I have a friend who's 5 year has a lot of physical problems and recently just had a major surgery.  When I'm annoyed with my almost 5 year old I think of that dear friend and instantly become thankful that he's healthy.  I guess what I'm saying is it's not hard to have a positive outlook when you look at the good instead of focusing on the bad.  I know easier said than done!

4. Music!  There are numerous studies out there about the positive affect that music has on people.  I don't need any expert to tell me that it makes me feel better.  I love cranking up the music and getting something done.  When I'm in the car by myself I sing at the top of my lungs to make myself feel better. I usually turn to fast paced, upbeat music that gets me going but sometimes I need turn to religious music that reminds me how good God really is.

5.  If all else fails, I turn to S.O.S. therapy. For me this means SCREAM OR SLEEP.  Honestly there are days that leaving me wanting to scream (hopefully not at or around my kids.)  But when I do scream a little I feel better, let it out!  And for me, sleep can solve any problem.  It is the best escape there is and when I wake up, I usually have a more positive outlook.  In general life goes better when I'm well rested.

So, there you have it a day late and a dollar short.  That's how it seems to go around here most of the time.  Hopefully this helps someone out there, even if it's just to know you're not alone.

Read more...

Back in the game!

I'm back!!! Where have I been you might be asking?

Running around like crazy!  For the past month or so I've pretty much felt like a chicken with it's head cut off.  We have been in the process of moving.  On top of preparing to move we've had family out to visit us, my husband's graduation events, a quick trip to New York, a not so quick trip out west to visit our families, planning and pulling off a family reunion, finding a renter for our current house, the big move, and then trying to get settled in our new home.  Whew! It's no wonder why I'm so tried!

Trying to get settled here has been one adventure after another. It seems that nothing as gone according to planned, which when you're a big planner, like me, that can really throw you through a loop.  For example, the first five days in our new house were spent without appliances, air conditioning and WATER.  That means no cleaning and painting like planned but more importantly no showers or working toilets.  I'm a mother with two young kiddos who are both potty trained so this turned into quite the ordeal.  When push came to shove there were times that my kiddos had to use a bag in a garbage can as their toilet.  It was great fun!

Lucky for you I decided against taking pictures of my kids pooping in a bag but I did take a picture of what it's been like to not have a dryer for a few weeks. Yep, those are the kidlets undies hanging from the cupboards.  We've had to get creative lately.

After the first week when we were basically just in survival mode, I tried to start doing the work that needed to be done in the house so that we could officially move in. (As of now most of our stuff is still packed away in the garage.)  With the hubby now starting to work, that left a lot more for me to do at home.  It was going much slower than I hoped for various reasons.  One afternoon once I got my daughter down for a nap and pulled out a new game for my son, hoping this would keep him busy and out of my hair so I could finally get some painting done. I had saved this game, Cootie Bug, for just such an occasion because this kiddo is a huge bug fan.  Problem was that the game was new and the parts were a little stiff and not working as he wanted.  I felt like every 10 seconds I was being interrupted to help him put in various bug parts into the buggy body.  This was not what I wanted.  Finally I got frustrated and snapped.  I rudely told him that he needed to just do it himself and leave me alone.  Yes, this was not one of my best parenting moments.  My ultra sensitive boy started to cry and a after a few minutes I started to feel bad.  All while painting, I remembered my Grandma Burdett and how patient, loving and positive she was.  I then started to tell my son about how big he was getting and because he's getting so big it means he can do things by himself even if it is hard.  I then told him about the story of The Little Engine that Could, a story that my grandma always told us when we were trying to do something difficult.  I still remember the first time I learned to water ski and her sitting in the boat telling me to say "I think I can, I think I can" over and over.  I told my son that it might be hard to push those small bug parts in by himself but if he kept trying he could do it.  For the next hour or so he played with the game as happy as a lark all by himself, occasionally I would hear him whisper to himself "I think I can, I think I can." This gave me plenty of time to paint and reflect.  I realized I needed The Little Engine that Could, talk just as much as he did.  I have been getting frustrated with  house projects lately and the whole moving situation.  I needed to remember that I am a very capable and strong person.  I can get through this if I have a positive attitude and work hard.

When Jaxson was done playing with his game he was so proud of himself for doing it all by himself.  This also made me realize that often I have been robbing him of a sense of self accomplishment by doing things for him.  In a way I have been enabling him.  As a therapist I saw many parents do this with their children with disabilities and I swore to myself I wouldn't do the same.  I've realized I've probably been holding my son back a lot lately by doing things for him.  Tough lessons learned and too bad I will be learning most of them the hard way with my oldest.

Going through these experiences has sure made me grateful for all the little things I take for granted, such as a flush-able toilet and my healthy body.  Wish me luck on our new adventure!  And here's to patience, hard work and a positive outlook!

Read more...

The Naughty Napper

Sometimes as a mother, I feel like there is this unwritten rule stating; Thou Shall Not Have Two Good Days in a Row! Seriously, right when I think I've gotten over one hurdle another pops up and glares me down.  A few days ago we had a spectacular day.  My kids got along and actually entertained each other.  I was able to get a lot accomplished and not feel like I was just ignoring my children.  We played together, everyone used the potty correctly ALL DAY, no one spilled a whole bag of cereal, and no major tantrums were thrown.  I could go on, but let's just agree that it was a smooth, happy day at our home.  I felt like I could handle my life, I felt good.

Then, that sneaky rule attacked.  The next day I woke up to sunshine and went for a run before my husband left us for the whole day.  For the most part things went normal until nap time.  My two year old daughter is just like me and LOVES to sleep.  Usually she asks us to go to bed and we rarely hear from her once she's down.  She still takes a 3 hour nap everyday like clockwork, that is until this eventful day.  I put her down like normal but she did not go to sleep.  She cried, screamed and used every trick in the book to get out of bed and once I put her back in her bed she cried and screamed again.  I tried everything I could think of since this was so abnormal and finally just listened to her cry.  I could tell she was tired and I had major things that needed to get done during this precious nap time.  I needed my sweetheart to be just that on this day.

After fighting her for an hour and a half I was more than frustrated.  I decided to try another tactic.  I moved her onto my bed, which she loves, and laid down with her.  After about 5 min she was out and I thought I was finally free.  After eating a quick lunch and I looked in on her to find this. . .

 

I guess she couldn't sleep because of her dry itchy skin and was in desperate need of some lotion.

 

This picture doesn't even show the mess on the floor, the dresser or little mirror.

 

And this face doesn't even begin to show how I was feeling.  It was my breaking point and I thought I was DONE.  She noticed I wasn't too happy and gave me a "I sorry, Mommy" in her cute little voice and then it hit me, she's TWO and every two year old has moments.  I stepped back and took a deep breath and then went for my camera.  While snapping a few pictures I even smiled a little and another thought struck me "It's a nap."  Why was I letting a nap make me so upset?  Should I really let something so little completely ruin my day?  Missing one nap is not going to affect her mental or physical well being.  For heavens sake it's not even going to matter tomorrow.  When it comes to motherhood I've realized I stress about the little things too much and when things don't go as planned I sometimes let it ruin my day, which in turn affects the rest of my family.  Do I really want my kids to react to little frustrations in life by pouting and acting grumpy the rest of the day?  No, and to make it clear that's a big NO.

I'm a big believer in the saying "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."  Sure, she missed her nap and was grumpy the rest of the day but that just meant I needed to stay calm and up my game.  I packed a few extra snacks and toys for when we ran errands that afternoon and put her to bed early.  No eternal harm done. 

Nothing like a two year old to teach you a little perspective!

Read more...